Groundskeeper-Willy

The Blog of a Groundskeeper-Willy who is employed in a state high school in NSW. I like my job but can't live on the money $412.50 per week. {Now $428.56!} {Now $436.99!} {Now $455.27!}To live I will have to return to my trade so I have started looking, but so that my experiences in the education system are not consigned to the rubbish bin of posterity I am going to record them here.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

See the light

Got an urgent call to go to a classroom as the OHP {over head projector} was not working.

Willy gets there plugs in OHP and switches it on, It works.

Willy: "What seems to be the problem with this?"

Teacher: "Oh when I turned it on there was only a tiny beam of light on the screen."

Willy: "The light adjustment was not set correctly." Shows teacher how to adjust light

Teacher: "Oh"

In University the Teaching students have to give reports and presentations using OHP's, there obviously was no marking component on how to operate them!

Monday, September 20, 2004

Da keys to da skool

Charming insight into the adolescent mind.

Y10 Arabic Boy[looking at a bunch of keys in Willys hand}: Sir, Sir are those the keys to the skool?

Willy: Yes

Arabic Boy: Can I have the keys to the Skool?

Willy: why do you want them?

Arabic Boy: Oh Sir if you give me the keys to the Skool I can get you 3 months holiday

Willy [smiling wondering what's going to happen]: That sounds interesting tell me how you getting the keys to the Skool will get me a holiday?

Arabic Boy: I'll burn the Skool down!

Willy: Why would you want to do that?

Arabic Boy: I hate Skool Sir, I hate it I hate it! The teachers hate me they stop me doing what I want to do!

Willy: Well you are in year 10, if you don't like Skool you can leave

Arabic Boy: Leave Skool in Year 10?

Willy: Yes I did

Arabic Boy: [with wonderment] Really?

Willy: Yep, and if you don't like it you can too.

Arabic Boy: Aw no Sir I can't do that

Willy: Why not, if you are unhappy leave

Arabic Boy: No sir I have to stay at Skool and get an education

Willy: And you want to burn the Skool down?

Arabic Boy: [bashful and subdued] Aw no

His mates then chip in with "Ah Ahmed your such a dick head"

He would be better off leaving


Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Snowdrops

This incident is going back to January

I had returned to the Skool after having a weeks break, no teachers had returned and the school holidays were still on.

I made an inspection of the grounds to check for vandalism and found draped in the gardens women’s underpants!

As this meant that someone had been on the Skool site I contacted the School Security Unit and logged a report.

Later in the week teachers began arriving to 'do work' {Out of 70 teachers you will get about 4 who will come in during the Holidays, it can be annoying as they will require doors to be opened for them which they will not shut so poor Willy has to}

The conversation that any normal person would have would run along the lines of ' Hi Willy have a good break?'
With teachers it can be different 'Any Incidents in the Holidays?' that’s the first thing they ask, I don't know why but they do.

Male teacher; 'Any Incidents in the Holidays?'

Willy; 'Well yes someone has put women’s underpants in the Skool gardens'

Male teacher; getting excited 'Oh Oh can I ask you a question?'

Willy; 'Ok'

Male teacher; 'What size are they and are they soiled?'



And now that I have your attention, size 10-12 and yes

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Work-Cleaners

A group of boys have been helping me for the past year , we put up the chairs and tables in the hall MT the recycle bins, bark chip the garden and change the furniture in the classrooms.

As it's a semi selective high school the community kids give trouble because they are not academically brilliant {that explains the schools high Asian population} Some of the teachers appear very biased towards the Selective children. One even calls a particular community class "The Zoo"

My observation of selective children is that they are not very bright with life skills, they get plenty of awards and kudos for their academic achievements but don't know simple things like how to wash up {I kidd you not}

I digress the Boys were in Year 9 but as they have gone to year 10 they can no longer help me so today at assembly they were presented with certificates of service by the principal and I made the following speech.

WORK

Work is not mankind's curse, but its blessing. People become complete through work. It elevates them, makes them great and aware, raises them above all other creatures. It is in the deepest sense creative, productive and culture producing. Without work, no food. Without food, no life.

The idea that the dirtier one's hands get, the more degrading the work. Is just not true. As in every other area, first ask how, then what. It is less a question of the position I fill, and more a question of how well I do the work

Anyone who creates value is a creator, that is, a worker. We should refuse to distinguish kinds of work. A furrowed brow is as much a sign of work as calloused hands. Our lives should perhaps be determined not by possessions or money, but by the quality of one's accomplishments. One earns merit through service. Our only standard should be whether the work serves the whole, or at least does not harm it, or if it is harmful. Work is service.

Work is a path to higher blessings, a joy, something in which to take pride, satisfaction, encouragement, and a way to build character. We are distinguished by the results of our labour. That is I believe the sure sign of the character and value of a person

Those who despise work but accept its benefits is are hypocrites.

SAS may mean School Assistance Squad but it also means Sincerity And Service part of our School motto

These boys have learnt much about that and the nature of work, they have learnt about themselves, their discoveries thanks fellas have enriched my work.

Not bad is it.

No I didn't write it I just adjusted it to suit the new purpose.


The Cleaners are on strike, Willy does not do cleaning {not during a strike} the Cleaning company has been sending management staff to perform a cursory clean, basically the toilets.

The Manager was complaining about the kids

Manager "Dirty disgusting little devils"

Willy "why?"

Manager "They have deliberately pushed over the bins, rubbish is everywhere"

Willy "Blame it on the media"

Manager "Huh why"

Willy "last nights news report stated that if the schools were dirty they would have to be closed, so the kids are trying to get that to happen"

Manager "Bastards"

Willy "yep the Media has a lot to answer for, You know on average 3 people per week throw themselves under trains in Sydney? They don't publicize that because it would only give people ideas"

Manager "Why did they publicize this?"

Willy "The Media don't consider the consequences, gotta fill up that 90 second sound bite"

Manager "BASTARDS"


Monday, September 06, 2004

Religion

Arabic Boy: “Uh Sir what religion are you?”

Willy: who knows when confronted with a difficult question to turn it back to the person who asked, “What religion are you?”

Arabic Boy: “ I am a Muslim”

Willy: “you will never guess what religion I am”

Arabic Boy: “Christian?”

Willy: “nope”

Arabic Boy: “Catholic?” note that he thinks that Catholicism is another religion

Willy: “nope”

Arabic Boy: “oh Sir you’re not JEWISH” with a tone of distain in his voice

Willy: “ No I'm not one of the chosen people I’m Jedi”

Arabic Boy: “What’s Jedi?”

Willy: “ you know Star Wars, Use the force Luke” makes light sabre gestures

Arabic Boy: with wonderment in his voice “ how do you get to be Jedi?”

Willy: “I put it on my census form”


Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Not coming out of your pocket!

This is the story of some old pottery kilns.
The school had 5 kilns 2 of which were working one that needed a new electrical box and two that needed major repairs.

Willy organizes for electrician to come out and look at Kilns.

Scene: Art classroom home to 4 kilns

Teacher " these are the three that don't work " showing them to the electrician

Electrician examining Kilns "Right oh, Now I can fix the one that needs a new electrical box but the other two..." Shaking his head " Will cost about $5000 each to repair they need a total rebuild, how many kilns do you have?"

Teacher "these 4 plus 1 upstairs"

Electrician "how many do you use?"

Teacher "the 1 upstairs and the one down here that works is shared by the nightschool and us"

Electrician "so how many do you need?"

Teacher "well if you could get the one with the electrical problem going then the night school could have 1 kiln for them selves. But I would like to get all the kilns in the room working"

Electrician " it will cost about 1500 to fix the electrical box on that kiln and about $10000 to fix the other two as they will need total rebuilds, that's going to cost a lot of money"

Teacher " Well it's not coming out of your pocket" slightly offended that some one who has not been to university would question him.

Electrician "actually it is, I'm a TAXPAYER your a TAXPAYER and he's (pointing at Willy } a TAXPAYER"

Teacher " reuushfwebjcba@%$&" under his breath unused to logic

result the electrical company bought the two kilns off the school and the money went to pay for the repairs to the other kiln.

Do you wonder why Schools supposedly have no money?

Now you know.